Friday, June 03, 2005
Yee Haw!
I thought I was going to have to spend the weekend sans Internet... but I have been blessed! Thank goodness for free Internet at the Holiday Inn! My husband is coming to the town that I am working in this weekend - not by choice exactly, but regardless - HE IS COMING! I am so excited because I have missed him a ton this week and I really needed a break from the long commute so I was glad to not have to make the drive!

I just finished dinner with a good friend. Husband's commitment this weekend is also a commitment for a bunch of our friends... so I have LOTS of visitors. He He! Anyway, I am debating telling this friend why we really don't have any kids. She is such a compassionate woman and I really think that she would be a strong support system for me. I have a hard time sharing our? my? problems with people (real life people - Internet friends don't count). I don't want too many people to know. I am torn - not that I'm not torn all the time! My friend, we will call her Husker, is older. She just turned 41? 42? and has three beautiful (not exaggerating) children. Husker and her Husband are the most perfect parents in the world. I only hope to be half of what they are! I don't think that she had any fertility struggles but I guess you never know until the cat comes out of the bag. I suppose that I will just have to wait and see if the time is ever right to bring the subject up. So tell me your stories. Have to you told someone in real life and come to regret it? Have you told someone and found yourself a great friend and confidant? Hmmmm.... just don't know.

On a totally unrelated note (geesh I am jumping around tonight), one of our Peonies bloomed today! We have three, the momma, the daddy and the baby. For those of you that don't know Peonies are heirloom plants and live for a very, very long time if cared for properly - hence the naming and the overwhelming excitement over them. We didn't even know the baby existed until about two weeks ago. Ah, time for another aside.. we built our house last year and we didn't hire someone to put our landscaping in until late fall. Therefore we have never seen any of our plants in bloom and we really have no idea what was put in the ground! Isn't it pretty?!

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That is the daddy – named so because he is by far the largest of the family. Husband told me earlier this week that the baby had a blossom on it. I am really excited since it was so late to come up but I think it is really interesting that the momma is the only one in the family that is failing to produce. Oh well, I guess her time will come too.


Blogger Larisa said...

My very best friend knows everything. She has been trying to get pregnant for about 5 months with no success yet.

I have a friend who is an ob/gyn, and I recently talked to her about it. I mostly wanted verification that it was ok to go ahead and begin seeking help.

Both of these women are dear friends, but I haven't shared with them the disappointment each month, the worry...that stuff.

Blogger Jamila said...

I only very recently came "out of the closet." 3 of my 4 best friends (and a whole slew of internet people) were told when we started trying, and then have been updated on all the infertility stuff since then.

That was it for a good, long while. I think you know this, but I finally told my mom over Easter. It was a good talk, but I made it clear that I don't want her prying on all the little details - that I would share them if I wanted to. I haven't wanted to. I'm glad I shared the big picture with her, though.

After that, the floodgates kind of opened and I have since told a lot of friends. I tell myself I'm demystifying infertility, so even these fertile friends realize it is something quite real that happens. And, who knows, maybe one of them is struggling with it too but didn't feel they had someone to talk about it with..... No one has come forward on that front, yet.

Again, with most of these friends (I've told about....15 people), I just shared the big picture. We're trying, but having trouble. Not the monthly disappointment, the regime of tests and drugs. They have been moderately supportive, in a general sort of way. But I still rely mostly on my friends in the computer to get me through the daily pain.

Hope this helps you decide how to go forward.


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