Wednesday, September 28, 2005
I Understand the Intent...
.... but are you f*cking kidding me?

Tuesday, September 27, 2005
Shitty Weekend...
Remind me to give you details of our recent vacation weekend in Albuquerque. Here is a preview:

And... since I hate not having a face to go with a name... here is a picture of Husband and I. Look quick, it will come down soon :o)

... you are too late, picture down.

Seven Things...
Sheryl tagged me… and I finally found time to play!  Enjoy.

Seven things I plan to do before I die…
1.  Raise a family
2.  Visit every major league baseball park in North America
3.  Go on a Mediterranean cruise
4.  Make an impression on someone’s life
5.  Run a marathon
6.  Play golf in Ireland
7.  Own a little house on a big chunk of land in the mountains

Seven things I can do…
1.  Spin really fast and with some style on figure skates
2.  Cook a wicked good meal
3.  Recite the first 45 minutes of Good Will Hunting verbatim
4.  Figure big math problems in my head
5.  P…r…o…c…r…a…s…t…i…n…a...t…e…
6.  Multi-task
7.  Read, really, really fast.

Seven things I cannot do…
(at the present time, because honestly, I can do anything I put my mind to!)
1.  Knit, sew or anything related
2.  Keep up with Husband when we go on a bike ride
3.  Hold a tune
4.  Drive in the dark
5.  Remember the name of bands/artists
6.  Throw a football
7.  Think of anything to add here…

Seven things that attract me to the opposite sex…
1.  Straight, white teeth.
2.  A nice tight behind
3.  Sincerity
4.  Honesty
5.  Sense of humor
6.  Dark hair and eyes
7.  Passion (towards anything)

Seven things I say most often…
1.  Whatever.
2.  Does that make sense?
3.  Husband!!!
4.  Dammit!
5.  What kind of wine do you want?
6.  That’s so not cool.
7. Where’re my girls? (re: my dog and cat when I come home from work)

Seven celebrity crushes…
1.  Matt Damon
2.  Matthew McConaughey
3.  Matt Mantei (Red Sox Pitcher)
4.  Johnny Depp
5.  Josh Hartnett
6.  Josh Lucas
7.  Patrick Dempsy

Seven people I want to do this…
1.  Husband
2.  Z.
3.  ZHL
4.  Kate #2
5.  April
6.  Elle
7.  Mel

4 Down...
4 days…  I can’t believe that I have made it four freaking days!!! And, I feel great.  Not okay, not good, I feel great.  The cravings are still there (especially right now as I sip on a lovely glass of wine) but they are fewer and farther between.  I drove the whole way to work and didn’t even think about how bad I wanted to smoke – I just jammed out to the radio.  My non-smoking co-workers and friends are super proud of me and very supportive.  I found a cookbook today that I am going to order online.  It is called How to Quit Smoking and Not Gain Weight Cookbook. It looks like it is no longer being printed so I am going have to buy a slightly used version.  I read an article written by the author (who is a nutritionist) and it really peaked my interest.  Hopefully I can get it here before I pack on 100 lbs!

On the TTC front – nothing much new going on.  I am enduring the 2WW the best that I can.  I am very busy at work trying to tie up all the loose ends in my current section so that I can move to my new section on Monday.  I can’t wait to work with a new group of people and to have some new things to do. The biggest bummer about the whole situation is that my new section sits in the shittiest portion of the whole floor – short cubicle walls and COMPLETELY interior.  Not a window in sight!  I am glad that the days are getting shorter, hopefully that will make the transition easier.

Okay – well I am off to watch the season premier of Am*zing Race.  Next up – I promise to answer this tag!

Monday, September 26, 2005
Moving On...
I made a decision last week to quit my worst habit. I am bitchy beyond belief, I didn't sleep a wink last night and I am STARVING. So far I am taking this on cold turkey - save the occasional visit to Quitnet. We will see what the next few days bring. Tonight I will be hitting the gym because we all know that my metabolism is going to bottom out and the lbs are going to start packing on. Hold my hand virtual friends... this is going to be a hard and scary ride.

PS - I added a ticker to the bottom of my page so I could remind myself how long it has been and why I am doing this.

Deep breath P. - you can do it.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005
Sorry... and Numbers...
... I have been away from this for a few days and for that I apologize. Husband and I spent the weekend in NM with his family. It was a great weekend and lots went on. I will post in more detail soon. Work has been crazy hectic! I was given a promotion on Monday - more money, and WAY more responsibility. I am excited about the challenge but the workload may be a bit more than I can chew.

I went in this morning for IUI#3. Here are the numbers:

Lining: 10.5mm
Follies: 2, both on Right. One 23 mm and one 25 mm
Post Wash Count: 10.3 million

The count numbers are a little lower than we would have liked, BUT I have two follies this month instead of one so it should be a wash. Right?! One more US tomorrow to see if I really did release and then I can start the 2WW.

Hope all is well with all of you!

Tuesday, September 13, 2005
And a Weight Was Lifted Off of Her Shoulders...
Through my entire battle with infertility there has always been one thing on my mind; how are we going to pay for this? You see, my POS plan doesn't cover infertility except for diagnosis. I have spent the past few months doing research about the programs that were out there, shared risk (my doctor doesn't participate in one), special financing (good rate - but another loan... ICK), loan from family, etc, etc, etc... Husband and I had finally made the decision to go with the financing plan. The interest rate was okay (much better than a credit card) and the payment schedule was something that we could live with. I was okay with this decision, but the idea of going back into debt (been there, done that, very UGLY) weighed so very heavy on my heart. I planned to meet with the financial counselor at my RE next week before the IUI so we could fill out the paperwork and get the ball rolling. Rewind 6 weeks....

In August Husband accepted a promotion within his company. The pay is better, the opportunity to advance is much greater, the hours are more steady and the office is closer to home. The only drawback was that it was a non-union position and we would no longer have free benefits. Yes, I said free. We have been spoiled for seven beautiful years - we have had FANTASTIC health coverage for nothing. When the time came we went over all the available options, the co-pay and deductible schedules, the premium amounts, etc. until we finally decided on the EPO plan. It costs a bit more money than the others available but was the closest plan we could find to our old one. We were happy with our decision. We couldn't use out-of-network doctors, but we had manageable co-pays and no deductibles. The plan took effect on 9/1.

Yesterday on my way home from work I stopped at the local grocery to pick up my Cl0mid and my prenates. When the cashier rang me up the amount was too low. I told her that I thought she had missed a prescription and she insisted that she did not. I asked her if the Cl0mid was accepted by the insurance and she said, "Yes". I asked her if she thought it was a mistake and she emphatically said, "NO". Unable to believe that it wasn't a mistake I RAN (okay I drove, and I only sped a little bit) home and logged onto my insurance company's website. Sure as shit Cl0mid is a covered drug! In a frenzy I went digging for my infertility benefits and this is what I found:

Services for treatment of infertility

100% of eligible expenses up to a maximum of $6,000 per covered person, per calendar year. $12,000 per covered person, per lifetime. Diagnosis and services to treat a medical condition are covered. Injectible drugs are covered through the medical plan. Oral drugs are covered through the prescription plan.

Covered Services:
· Ovulation induction with menotropins
· Artificial Insemination
· Injectible fertility drugs

Can you freaking believe it?! I couldn't! I ran around the house hooting and hollering and scaring the living daylights out of my dog! I swear I just received a $12,000 gift. IVF/ICSI is not covered but at least we have a few more IUI's left to try before we have to bring out the big guns and bury ourselves in debt. Sometimes I just need a reminder that a) everything happens for a reason and b) when God slams a door shut in your face he always opens another one. Happy days ladies, happy, happy days.

Monday, September 12, 2005
Thoughts for my friend...
... I have an infertile friend that is having a really hard time right now. She is feeling VERY alone in the infertility battle and needs your thoughts and prayers. I know she reads my blog so post a comment to send her some love and tell her she isn't alone!

Friend - like I said in my email, what you are going through right now sucks. I am sorry that you feel so low and so alone. Just remember - I am ALWAYS here for you!

Sunday, September 11, 2005
The Next Step...
What a weekend! Husband's birthday was fantastic. We went to Benihana's for dinner and gorged ourselves on sushi, sake bombers and Japanese food. We were joined by three sets of friends and had a fantastic time. We spent most of Saturday nursing a wicked hangover and managed to do pretty much nothing all day long. I did manage to make it over to my friend Tam's house. She was put together a clothing drive for the Katrina victims that are being housed at one of the defunct air force bases in the town where I live. You can't believe the amount of stuff that she collected! We managed to fill a large moving truck, five SUVs and two pick-ups with clothes and household items. There were tons of people there to help and the whole thing was pretty overwhelming. Today I spent the afternoon going through our closets and cleaning out all the old clothes. I have put together four boxes of stuff to donate in the next drive!

Husband is very excited about opening day for football. The TV has been on non-stop since 11:00 and I think he has managed to catch a few minutes of every game. He is such a child in a candy shop today! The best part is that I broke down and bought him a laptop for his birthday. Like I imagined, he has spent the entire day wired into the network checking on his fantasy team's progress. I finally managed to steal the machine away from him for a few minutes so that I could do an update on my blog. I promise that sometime this week I am going to get my links updated. There are a few that have gone away and I would like to organize them into categories so that my friends that want to avoid reading pregnancy blogs are able to.

That brings me to the TTC update. I am currently CD4 and will start my Cl0mid tomorrow night. We are going to use the same protocol this month that we have been and we are super hopeful that the third try is a charm. If this doesn't work we will do a "re-group" and decide what to do next.

I found out this weekend that three people I know are expecting. My friend J that lives down the street is ~8 weeks along with her first, she got pregnant pretty easy considering her husband is a pilot and is quite frequently away from home. My friend K also managed to get herself knocked. I am pretty excited for her, but she has a very long road ahead of her and will certainly need some prayers. She has a double cervix and will have to be stiched up in the near future to help get her to term. She is also overweight and is already dealing with elevated blood sugar levels and blood pressure, she is currently ~6 weeks. The third person is the nasty, alcoholic, worthless piece of shit that lives next door to a friend of mine. This is her second pregnancy since we have been TTC. She got lucky with her daughter and although she drank and smoked through the whole pregnancy her daughter ended up healthy. I hope that she is as lucky this time around.

I have a crazy work week ahead of me... I will try to check in as much as I can!

Friday, September 09, 2005
Happy Birthday!!!
To my husband:

You are the most caring and compassionate man that I have ever met. The ten years that we have spent together so far have been wonderful and I am a better person with you in my life. It brings me joy to wake up to your face ever morning. Thank you for being such a rock for me. I look forward to celebrating many, many more birthdays with you!

Happy Birthday - I LOVE YOU.

Your Wife.

Thursday, September 08, 2005
Day One Again...
I am pretty bummed out this morning. It didn't work again. Perhaps the third try will be a charm.

Thursday, September 01, 2005
It's September Already?!
Sorry I have been AWOL. Things at work have been crazy, I came down with a killer cold, and I feel like the last week has just WIZZED by! I guess that is a good thing since I am in the 2WW. No news yet. Can't test until 9/7. Still keeping my fingers crossed. Hope you are all well - I feel so out of the loop because I haven't been able to read up on you in a bit! Will be back soon for a more in depth post.